Aku, Anak dan Program
Among the biggest dilemma of young mothers in this 'gerabak dakwah' is about childcare when they have to attend usrah, daurah or any tarbiyyah programs. I am a stay at home mother who don't have the luxury of childminder. I don't have any relatives living nearby that could offer the help so most of the time I handle the kids myself with the help of, of course, Mr. Husband.
In our weekly halaqah, the feeling is almost as sitting in garden of heaven, with the kids running around your happy circle. Hewhew! We will find ourselves lucky if we could benefit at least half an hour for a fruitful discussion or listening to taujihaat from the naqibah. While most of the time we were busy chasing the kids around, bringing the kids to the toilet, inter mediating in a toy fight or wiping the spilled juice. Uuu! I really missed my tarbiyyah notebook when I was still a single lady, super neat with colorful pens to mark different subjects complete with mind map. Look at my notebook now, full with creative doodles from my Picasso kids. Bravo!Who's with me, please raise your hand! Haha!
But despite that, we are still boarding this train of dakwah. Although we know our presence at our weekly halaqah might no be as productive as how it was when we could focus our heart out from Al-Fatihah to tasbih kaffarah. Sometimes, coming back from usrah I wonder "apa aku belajar eh tadi?" Haha... macam hilang ingatan pun ada. But yet, we still come every week. Because we know we need it, because we know this is in our heart beat and we know we could not live without it. And of course because we know our usrahmate memang masak sedap-sedap tiap kali usrah, eh? Haha!
And we also know, this children that run, shouts, cries and do all sort of things that distract our focus during the usrah or daurah will one day continue what we are doing today. They are our main mad'u that have to be entertain carefully because they are so delicate. We have to nurture their love for da'wah because they are going to live this in the future. But how? How can they love this da'wah if it seems that all of this programs of da'wah and tarbiyahlah yang mencuri masa berharga mereka bersama ibu dan ayah?
Anak-anak tertidur kepenatan. Kebetulan pula tempat daurah tu blackout. Sabar je anak-anak...
Alhamdulillah I am granted with a husband that understand and support me all the way. Most of the time when I have to attend usrah, he will take care of my super active son and I'll take my daughter along as she is still breastfeeding. Sometimes he even offer to look after both kids as he know I'll do the same when it is his turn to have usrah. And I think the kids prefer to stay with ayah because it seems to be more fun than having to stay with ibu. Because ayah brings them swimming, cycling and such and ibu is so boringly stay at home. Haha! Alhamdulillah... but how about my sisters who didn't have such convenience?
It is not the question of suami malas jaga anak, but imagine if both the husband and wife have to attend 3 usrahs in a week, like it or not the schedule will overlap here and there, kan? How about the husband or wife with hectic on-call schedule, not the typical 9-5 working hours? Then there will be weekends program that both have to attend. How? I honestly respect the new generation of fathers who seems to carry equal responsibility in taking care of the kids. Kadang-kadang derang yang lagi busy kejar anak kat program while the wife sit calmly listening to the talk and take notes for the busy ayah to refer later. Errr, that sounds more like me eh?
Sometimes there are some sisters who could not make it to the program as there is no one to look after their kids. Certainly, it is not fair for us to judge our sisters not giving their full commitment when in real they are really struggling with childcare. Do we really care? Level of ones tolerance to handle pressure is different, hence we could never compare our ability with others apple to apple. So, hopefully there is no more saying "Aku boleh buat, apesal kau tak boleh?" Some things that appear easy for us might be difficult enough for others. You might be able to gamble driving one hand with a toddler on your lap and arrive safely at the usrah or your kids might be kind enough to sit still in their car seat throughout the journey. While there might be other sisters who cannot do just that. If they are giving excuses then that is the case with them and Allah, so let Allah judge. But we should try as much to accommodate their needs as much we could, not by simply judging.
Kalau anak teriak macam ni all the way, camne nak focus drive?
(credit: adamnathan.com)
And will it be fair to the children if we have to leave them in the care of others during the weekend when we are so busy working throughout the week and just get to see them a few hours at night before they go to bed. I've seen someone whom his parents is so committed with dakwah program but he is not interested to get involve with it because simply he said,
"Sebab depa semua busy sangat usrah, daurah segala nilah depa takdak masa langsung untuk aku masa kecik-kecik dulu!"
So, how about making our program more child friendly? So that parents always feel welcome to attend and bring together their kids too without worrying much about distracting others. Ni siap letak syarat 'anak-anak tak dibenarkan dibawa ke dewan utama' BUT 'tiada nurseri akan disediakan'. Harap maklum! What? And bukan sekali dua I am very much disappointed with the nursery at the program. A part that is so important for the comfort of the participating parents to pay full focus to the lectures knowing that their children is well catered with a structured, educational program. But sadly, it is usually be the last thing to be considered by the organizing committee. Not that we expect luxury care but enough with the basic necessities. Comfortable space for the kids and experienced caregiver. Perhaps we parents don't really mind to pay some amount of money for a quality care. But most of the time although I have registered for the nursery, it will always end up I have to take care of the kids myself. Baru letak anak setengah jam nursery dah call suruh ambik balik sebab anak tak stop menangis, camne? -_-'
There are a lot of example of professional management from known islamic organization. Mercy for example has always encouraged mothers to join their program by make it convenience enough for them. A comfortable Mother's Room with live telecast from auditorium, so that mother's could listen to the talks while taking care of their kids at comfort without worrying much of distracting others. Older kids shall be assigned to Kid's Play Zone where there will be interesting activities prepared to occupy their attention and benefit something from it.
I have to give credit to program Mahligai Sakinah that we attended previously where kids are not allowed to be in the main hall but they provide good childcare service for participants. Ayyash got to be sent to a preschool near the event venue so that he wont have access to us anytime he want. Haha! But when they sent him back to us at the end of the day he was looking so happy. "Ayyash pergi school lah tadi, ibu!" he said. And there is small room at the back of the hall for younger kids like Maryam who needs to be with mothers. And we could easily access the room anytime we need to breastfeed and those assigned to take care of the kids at the room is so nice and know how to tackle the kid's needs. Bestnyaaa... memang heaven lah pergi program tu. And it only cost us around RM30 if I could remember. 5 stars!!
Nak cakap kat sini, it is possible if we put our mind into it sebenarnya. Bukannya kita berprogram cuma setahun sekali but almost every month if not every week! If we could establish a good system to go around this issue insyaAllah there will be more attendance from young parents and there shall be no excuse anymore. How about coming up with specific module and activities for the kids when parents have to attend the program? Different activities to cater different age group. How about investing in basic equipment for a decent nursery? Or finding experienced human resource that we could hire each time we are having nursery for our program? I've come across a group of akhawat who come up with a mobile childcare service for any event. Perhaps a good bussiness to venture, ey? Hehe!
Nah, perkara bagus haruslah tolong iklanlan. Hehe!
Betul, siapa yang menolong agama Allah, Allah akan menolongnya. Tapi untuk dapat nasrullah tu kena ada usaha on our behalf juga kan? So, let's strive for this, sisters. Let's make our tarbiyyah program a better place for everyone insyaAllah.
